Tuesday

About me

Hi, my name is Gary, and I like to tell you a little bit about myself, and why I started this blog. I spent most of my life running, hiding, or in the custody of the law. From the time I was 5 years of age up until I was 42 years old I butted heads with law officials, challenged the legal system and fought correctional officers stubbornly. I always thought I could out run them, out smart them and take their "beat downs" without breaking a sweat. However, as I sat in the belly of the prisons hole one day, I ask myself whether what I was doing with my life was paying off for me? And, it became clear to me it wasn't. As I sat in the little cell by myself...slowly dying inside, I did something that I haven't done for quite sometime...I asked my God for help. Just a simple prayer.

Not long after my realization, I received a very unexpected letter from a 90 year old man who was looking for a pen pal to write to. I do not know where he got my name, neither did I care. For at that time I needed someone to talk to...or in this case, write to. This old man, an Marine from WWII began writing to me, and his questions though not questions of faith, or in my case lack of faith...he asked very practical and honest question about what I thought of myself, my life and how I looked at my future. In his replies to my letters I could see the age in his words, very carefully written, yet with a shaky hand. His words were strong with truth. His letters came with interesting questions for me to consider, and with the time I had to myself, I gave myself time to sincerely think, and then answer, each of his questions as honestly as I could. In the months to follow, this man whom I never met...helped me to realize that I was not treating myself with much consideration, and that I could really change how I viewed myself and others-- if I would just take the time to consider all that could be...there for me...in life, I may yet find the life that was meant to be for me.

While I could probably write a chapter about my last year in prison and tell you of some of the things that happened to me (for the good), I won't do it here...I will say that my life did begin to change, not in a flash...but things did begin to happen for me!

Today, I am happy and quite content, simple words, yet words that are encased in long years of trials and tribulations...yet one nagging question still eats at me to this day. I have done enough in my criminal life to deserve a life sentence...or at least a whole lot of years behind bars and the question that still bothers me is; Why was I given another chance at happiness, and those not as fortunate as me still linger in prison for crimes much less than mine? This question I have thought about carefully for years, and I think I've covered every angle with trying to answer that question... I keep coming back with the same answer... those that still sit behind prison walls did not, or were not given every opportunity to make changes in their life like I was given. Call it luck, or by chance, or by a greater force that I found happiness, but the truth is...while I was persistent in looking for my way out of the muck in life...others are not given that chance, call it their own laziness, their stupidity, unfortunate ones, or lack of good luck...but the truth is, if they had more to make them fight harder, longer... maybe they would be in the space I am in today. So, there lies the answer...no matter what situation you are in, how down in life you think you are, or how lost every thing seems to be...."knowledge is the key, and in all situations, it will set you free".

I started this blog as a way to collect information on re-entry programs in each state, and to share my experience with those that like to know how to make a transition back into society. I also am striving to have this blog become very active as it grows, with an community-type design as we together help those prisoners that are coming back into our communities, make an more successful transition.

I believe in the power of the Internet, I believe in the knowledge it possesses. I also believe that if used right, it will convey an incredible amount of valuable information that can save time, money and help create a more efficient way to accomplish what anyone sets out to do in life. It creates transparency, and produces honesty in those that use it for the good of mankind. If used for the wrong reasons it will cause a light to shine on those that continue to choose to do wrong. Using this technology as a tool, and developing a plan to succeed, I believe that with persistence anyone, and everyone...from grandmothers to social workers, husbands, wives and all who call for change can give help, to ease fears and frustrations. Help that is so desperately needed in people lives. I believe that communities of people can partner together for a better understanding of what is expected from each other. To find out what help can be provided for challenges that lie ahead, and find answers in how we can meet the needs of all parties involved, including family, friends, neighbors and everyone else who desires to live in a safe, understanding and responsible environment. For me...I hope to help those that will soon return to our communities to do so with confidence and without fear of failure... I hope to help the prisoner find a way back to the life they truly desire.

2 comments:

  1. ty so much for sharing this. I pray that many will read for it is indeed full of hope.

    lulu

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Lulu,
    Thank you for your comment.
    I do hope to reach many people and to encourage them with my story.
    Sincerely,
    Gary

    ReplyDelete